i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
