considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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