We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
