You work out of a Hotel?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
