Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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