so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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