Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
