Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
