the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I party with great urgency now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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