covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
