i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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