Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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