she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
