I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
