I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
