Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
