Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
