Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
