I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
