Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
