is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
