Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
