you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
