If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
