I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
