i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
