He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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