matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
