I never want to see another naked old woman again.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
