That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
