used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
