I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
