Is it normal to miss your booty call?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need a beard to bite.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
