I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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