Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
