I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
