that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
