We're facebook friends in real life
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
