Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
