So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
