I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
