Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
