We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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