You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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