hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
