Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
