My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
