none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
