five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
third nipple confirmed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
