I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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